I cried with an Agenda

Yesterday I Cried
I came home,

went straight to my room,

sat on the edge of my bed,

kicked off my shoes,

and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you,

I cried until my nose was running all down my ibia front
i cried until my ears were hot.

I cried until my head was hurting so bad

that I could hardly see the pile of soiled

tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,

I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,

for all the days that I was too busy,

or too tired, or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,

and all the times I had dishonored,

disrespected, and disconnected

my Self from myself,

only to have it reflected back to me

in the ways others did to me the same things

I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,

only to have them stolen;

for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;

for all the things I had accomplished,

only to give them away, to people in circumstances,

which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does come a time

when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;

and mommies are left longing for thier unborn;

and than there are those daddies who don't know what to do,

so they leave; because they do not know how to take responsibility

and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,

and because I was a little girl,

and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,

and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.I cried because I hurt.

I cried because I was hurt.

I cried because hurt has no place to go

except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,

and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.

I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know

that my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying,

I felt my freedom coming,

Because Yesterday,

I cried with an agenda.